Leap of Faith
by paprikamouthwash
Summary: AU: Castiel has recently been through a lot and he wants to be done with it all. He meets Dean, who takes the time to show Castiel that his life can get better. Paring(s): Destiel
1. Chapter 1

52 days and four hours since he had sent his little sister to her death. 51 days and eight hours since he had found that she was dead. 50 dollars left in his wallet, and he might as well try to enjoy spending them. Though "enjoy" is not the correct word to use. To enjoy means to find happiness in something, not to find the bottom of a cup and a numbing to the sadness. The later, of course, is what he planed to find with the last of his money.

The man walked into a bar. He noted that statement going through his thoughts and almost found humor in the reference to the worn out bar jokes. He sat down at said bar and a voice greeted him, "what'll you have?"

The man raised his eyes from the polished wood of the bar and met the bartender's gaze. He was surprised to see a pair of bright green eyes and beautiful features, including light brown hair and a caring expression.

"What do you have that's not too expensive but will mess me up all the same?" he asked, lowering his gaze for the simple fact that he felt his inconsolable state did not have time for such things of beauty such as the man across from him.

"You sure that's a good idea, buddy?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," the man answered and the bartender nodded. "I'm Dean, by the way, and you are?" he asked, starting to get the drink ready.

"Castiel."

"Haven't heard that one before."

"My family was...quite religious."

"Was?" Castiel made no reply, Dean did not question further.

"Here ya go," Dean said, handing Castiel the drink. He took a sip, not bothering to ask what it was.

"I'll warn you, too many of those and you'll regret it in the morning."

"I doubt it."

"Whadda you mean?"

"Of all the things I regret every morning I'm alive, I somehow don't see this making the list. I'm on my way out anyway." Dean frowned. He had noticed the man when he first walked in, and although he was in a terrible state, with dirty clothes and bags under his eyes, he was really handsome. This had been confirmed when Dean got a closer look at his face. The main thing he had noticed was his startling blue eyes, like the noonday sky itself. Not to mention a mop of raven black hair to go along with handsome features.

"Hey, Cas, listen. You might think it's all over, but it's not. I don't know what you've been through but nothing can make that decision right," Dean hoped he could get through to Cas. He had come across many lost causes with this job and had done the best to talk them off the ledge. He hoped to God that this man wasn't quite done for.

Castiel glanced up, eyebrows knitted together, "Cas...?"

"Yeah, short for Castiel. Sorry, I didn't think you'd mind."

"No, no. I don't mind," he turned his attention back to his drink.

"Okay, but really, Cas. You can make it through this. Throwing your life away wont help anything, not even you."The dark haired man shrugged.

Okay, Dean was about to take a leap of faith here, and to be honest he wasn't really counting on landing safely. He knew he had to do something, however, and talking to this man behind a bar about how much his life meant didn't seem to be working. The words formed in Dean's mind carefully as he gathered the courage to speak.

"Well, if you wanted I get off in an hour. Maybe you'll feel better on a full stomach," Dean tried to appear confident as he anxiously waited for the other's response.

Castiel look up with a confused expression on his face. He seemed to have trouble grasping the idea that Dean was asking him out. Finally he spoke, "Are you being serious?"

Dean's heart sunk a little, "uh, yeah."

"I mean...I don't have money," Cas stammered, looking down.

"I'll pay."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well...okay."

Dean smiled at the dark haired man. Castiel gave him a small smile in return. Dean seemed nice, and what's the worst that can befall a man waiting to die?


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Dean was done with work Cas had finished his second drink. Dean had served him something that wasn't quite as strong as the first, but denied Cas alcohol beyond that.

"I don't want you too drunk during our date," he told him.

They had spoken a bit, but customers kept Dean busy and Cas was busy by his drink.

When they finally were able to leave Dean suggested a diner with excellent burgers that was only a block away and off they went.

"Tell me about yourself, what you're willing to tell anyway," Dean suggested.

"Well, I came from a religious Christian family. My sister and I were named for angels. I was born on a Thursday and thus named Castiel, the angel of Thursdays, changes, and travel. My sister, Anna, was named for Anael, one of the angels of creation." Castiel smiled slightly, thinking about his sister.

"You two are close?"

"Yeswe were."

There was an awkward pause where Dean wasn't sure what to say, then Castiel continued.

"Our parents died in a car accident when Anna was only 15, I was 26 at the time. She came to live with me and we were very close untilI'm not ready to talk about the rest of that story yet, sorry," Cas said quietly.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You know I have a kid sibling too, Sammy, my little brother. He's smart as balls, in law school actually. He's only four years younger than me."

"How old are you?" Cas inquired.

"28, you?"

"30."

They reached the diner and sat down in a red plastic booth. The diner was empty besides a few men watching a game and a lady wrapped in blankets, clutching a cup of coffee. Castiel looked over the shiny menu. The lights from the brightly lit restaurant bounced off the plastic covering the menu. A large woman in a plain dress and apron walked over to take their orders.

"I'll have my usual, Cas?" he smiled at the man across from him.

"May I have a hamburger, please?" Castiel asked the waitress.

"Sure, hon," she replied in a flat tone and went to place the order.

The lights flickered slightly, causing no alarm in the diner.

The two men talked of weather, politics, television, and movies. Dean told a few jokes, causing Castiel to laugh. Dean found he loved Castiel's laugh, Castiel found that he hadn't laughed in a long time, and he missed it. When they're food came Cas tried to eat slowly, but he was famished. He hadn't had any good food in a long time.

"Slow down! You'll choke!" Dean laughed, taking a bite of his pie. Castiel shrugged. The two of them ate in silence for a few minuets.

"I understand if you're not able to talk about it, but I would really appreciate it if you told me what was going on. At least tell me what you can."

Castiel finished his hamburger and looked at Dean, contemplating if he should tell Dean his story. He finally took a shaky breath and started to talk slowly.

"My sister, Anna, she was a smart girl, and kind, an altogether good person. However, she got in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend would hurt her and I said, 'Call the cops,' or 'I'll kill him,' or even 'hit him back.' I told her to get out and she would say 'no'. She said she loved him, he loved her, he would get better. She said she'd kill herself if I touched him, if I called the cops, so I didn't. I didn't do anything besides offer my terrible advice and patch her up when she got home. I didn't do anythingI didn't though. I let her leave and he killed her when she told him. He got away, too," Cas sighed, fiddling with a napkin on the table. "She was all I had and it's basically my fault she's dead. I couldn't live with myself after she died. I lost my job, then my apartment, and now I think theres nothing left here for me," Castiel looked up at Dean. "And that's my story," he concluded.

After a few seconds Dean spoke softly, "It didn't sound like it was your fault." He stared back into Castiel's blue eyes. The two of them sat like that for almost a minuet, memorizing each other's faces. Their gaze was broken by the waitress placing a check on their table.

"You done?" Dean asked

"Yes."

Dean nodded, "well I took you to dinner, I suppose the polite thing would be to take you home."

Cas shifted uncomfortably at the word 'home.' He didn't currently have a home. Dean misread his discomfort.

"Sorry, I was just joking," he clarified.

"Yes, I know," Cas said. "It would be fine for you to dive me home now."

Cas tried to give Dean some money for the dinner but he refused. After a brief discussion about the bill and then actually paying for the dinner, the two men found themselves walking back to the bar.

"Thank you Dean, tonight was pleasant," Cas smiled at him.

"So do you feel like sticking around long enough to see be again?" Dean's voice wasn't soft, but he said this in a kind sincerity.

"I don't know I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand it if you did that to yourself and furthermore, I want to see you again."

Cas looked confused. He started to speak, "reall-?"

"Yes, really," Dean confirmed. He took a step closer to Castiel and took Cas' hand in his. "I would really like to see you again. Can I please?" Dean grinned at him with his crooked smile and Castiel felt himself blushing.

"I suppose.." he managed to get out. Dean's grin widened,

"Awesome! Well, today is wednesday so how does friday after my shift at nine sound?"

"Awesome," Cas echoed back, smiling.

"Okay, it's a date."

The two of them exchanged "goodnights" and Castiel got into his car, smiling, before he realized what had happened. Dean had convinced him to stick around to friday at least. He looked around at the inside of his car. The brown seats greeted him and he was reminded that this was his home. The weight of his life and his grief settled back into him as he looked around him and he felt almost as terrible as he had a few hours ago. "Almost" was the key word, however. Dean had lifted his spirits just a bit and he wasn't sure if he could find it in his heart to forgive him for that or find fault.


End file.
